Wed-NES-day: Donkey Kong Country

by on April 24th, 2013 at 2:00 pm

Wild and Wacky WedNESday, Schmamers! I haven’t played an 8-bit game in years. Fuck, I’ve barely even played many 8-bit games. So why am I handling WedNESday? Because we’re a well-run organization, that’s why. Complete with dart boards and feces-flinging monkeys. The shit landed here, folks.

They may be able to choose me to write but those damn dirty apes can’t tell me what to write about! Wait. They can? Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. If you’re tired of simian jokes you’ve come to the wrong place, friend. My ape overlords have demanded that I talk about Donkey Kong Country.

Monkeys aren't donkeys!

Monkeys aren’t donkeys!

Not an 8-bit game, it’s true. But a fucking fun and nostalgic game nonetheless.

This game devoured my childhood. My childhood was a fucking treasure trove of bananas in the clutches of King K. Rool that I was unable to recover. I played that mine cart level for days. DAYS! Almost 20 years later that level is still one of my all-time favorites from any game.

This game was a Rare gem. See what I did there? I’m a fucking genius who points out his puns. Donkey Kong Country was the second highest selling SNES game. Super Mario World sold twice as many copies but, hey, itsa Mario. Rare’s heyday when they were making things like Killer Instinct, Goldeneye 007, and Banjo-Kazooie. Before Microsoft bought them and forced them to do shitty remakes.

For those deprived of SNES glory, I’ll go a little into what Donkey Kong Country is about. The crocodiles stole Donkey’s bananas. That makes Donkey mad. He embarks to retrieve them from across the various levels that comprise Donkey Kong Island. He fights the crocs and other wild animals with some help from the other Kongs. Diddy Kong even comes with you. Tis a grand adventure indeed. Such a simple concept made for one of the most fun games you could ever want to play. And I maintain that this game cemented Donkey Kong as a Nintendo icon.

It’s going to be a bit of a short article today. I’d be willing to bet that most of you have probably played this game and I can only wax a monkey pole for so long. Besides, I feel like Gamers Schmamers is all about community. I want you all to join in on the fun. Have you played Donkey Kong Country? Did you love it? Did you hate it? Why? Does anyone love Expresso the Ostrich as much as I do?

DK Barrel

I personally had barrels of fun