The Daily Schedule of an Early Zombie Apocalypse Survivor

by on June 28th, 2013 at 10:30 am

9:03 AM

Rise and shine! Looks like the zombie apocalypse is still going on. Man, it would sure suck to be someone in some sort of coma-scenario where they’ll wake up a long time from now after the last vestiges of society are gone. Guess I’ll eat some breakfast, write in my diary for a little bit and then get going.

9:35 AM

I have a good feeling about today. I think I’ll write a note about this and leave it on the desk in my bedroom. Things are really looking up, haven’t seen a zombie yet and the sun is shining. Maybe things will finally get better. There, now I’ll just put this note down and head downtown to see what I can find.

10:32 AM

Got some fresh paint from the hardware store, think I’ll go around leaving some more ominous graffiti today. That’ll really help people know that they need to be cautious. I know there are hordes of the undead running around trying to eat everyone, but surely I’ll be OK as I make a lot of noise shaking these spray paint canisters. Ominous graffiti is probably very important to the survival of humanity.


11: 07 AM

Larry asked me to meet him in the sewers tonight. Didn’t give me any more details, but I guess he has a reasonable explanation for it. I better hide this pistol just in case he’s trying to steal it from me, though. Maybe I’ll stick it in that old empty crate in the basement.

11: 17 AM

I think I heard something outside, by the manhole cover! I’m going to go check it out. Better leave another note here first in case I get eaten. Heard a zombie in the alley, went to investigate. I hope I don’t die before I get to eat the candy bar I left on the table in the room with the gray walls and broken window. There we go.

11: 34 AM

Nothing out here. Shoot. Guess I’m carrying this ammo around for nothing. And boy, this ammo sure is getting heavy to lug around. Y’know what? I think I’ll just mosey on down to the sewers for a bit and drop some of this ammo. I’ll pick it back up after I meet with Larry. I better leave these rounds just laying out in the middle of a walkway down there so I can be sure to find them later.

12:01 PM

Whew, lunchtime! Time to grab a bite to eat. I better not leave any empty food containers around, though. If someone were hurt and really wanting to eat to ease the pain a little bit it sure would be disappointing to find just an empty food container. Actually, maybe I should drop a couple of these things down in the sewer with the ammo in case I get hungry when I climb down there again.

12: 46 PM

Oh, shoot, I wasn’t supposed to eat pork? I feel fine, though. I better just leave a quick note so that everyone knows pork is fine.

12409883261991:12 PM

I think my home defenses are a little lacking. Wonder what I can… oh, I know! I should barricade some doors, but leave a completely unobstructed path directly through the center that gives easy access to every room, so I don’t get stuck. Oh, and I don’t want to get locked out of a room. I better rig all the interior doors so they have to stay open.

2:34 PM

Larry looks really shifty today. I think he’s been stealing supplies and locking them in the cupboard behind the counter near the picture of a forest. I better write a note about this and leave it in the first drawer I find.

2: 45 PM

Man, watch duty is getting pretty boring. Oh, I know! I should pile some stuff just behind this closet door so that it will fall out when you open it. That’ll give somebody a surprise, haha! This is an awesome idea. Maybe I should go around town and do this to a couple other doors, too.

3:02 PM

I better go to the convenient store and see if they have some more journals available. It’d sure be embarrassing if I was about to die and couldn’t record the final moments of my life for future generations. You know, I could make these journals go farther if I wrote on more than just the first page. But nah, that sure would be inconvenient if somebody came along and wanted to read them. You don’t have time to be reading a lot while there’s zombies around!

3:41 PM

Larry just told me that the gun emporium downtown still has a lot of ammunition left in it. That would sure be handy to get, but it’s time for my afternoon nap now. I better write a note about it and leave it in the toolbox.

3:47 PM

This house doesn’t have any broken windows. I should really change that, just to set the mood.

3:54 PM

I sure think that Sheila is pretty. Too bad she likes Larry. If he ever gets torn apart by a throng of raging corpses, I think I’ll give her a candy bar. I’ll just write down my intentions on another note and leave it on this table.

image_303305_6204:02 PM

Ow! Stubbed my damn toe. I better find some medical tape I can wrap around my arm until the pain goes away. Or eat an entire plate of ham.

4:17 PM

Know what would be totally safe? If I made some molotov cocktails and left them on windowsills around town.

5:10 PM

I think I heard something outside! I better go check it out. But before I can do that, I should write down a note and put it on the floor next to the door. Yup, that’s the smart thing to do. Lemme see here… thought I heard something outside, I’ll go check it out. OK, now I’ll have a fun reminder about this later!

5:44 PM

Boss sent me with a group of guys to raid the local convenient store for supplies. I told the boys to go ahead and leave some food and ammo sitting out in plain sight on the shelves so we could find it easily if we came back for more.

7:09 PM

Finally, I have time for dinner. I’m so famished I think I’ll eat this entire container of meat, can and all. Then I should go around town and keep putting these large wooden planks that I’ve measured to be the exact same size near any gaps I see. Wouldn’t want someone to get stuck on one side of a gap! But I don’t want those jerks from the next town to get over here. I better makes sure all the planks are on the south side of the gaps.

9:01 PM

I hate waiting in the sewers. Didn’t Larry say he’d be here by 8:30? It’s so damn dark down here, and I’m pretty sure I keep hearing things behind me. Probably just spooking myself. I’m going to give Larry five more minutes. Better catalog all of this onto a note and put it in my shirt pocket.