E3 Liveblog: Sony Press Conference (8-10 CST)

by on June 10th, 2013 at 7:50 pm

So far Sony is winning the console war by just not saying anything. I predict this press conference will just be two hours of Kazuo Hirai laughing.

So far Sony is winning the console war by just not saying anything. I predict this press conference will just be two hours of Kazuo Hirai laughing.

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:18 pm

To any Schmamers out there who followed along with us: thanks for stopping by and reading! We’ll have podcasts, editorials and opinions on what we all just say throughout the week!

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:11 pm

Also, FINAL STANDINGS:

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 7*^;

*Actually the protagonist of a game.
^only conference to feature someone speaking a language other than English

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:10 pm

I Rabu You All.

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:09 pm

Any more closing thoughts, gents?

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:07 pm

I think EA had a solid conference, but Sony did everything they needed to. Sony> EA> Ubi>>>MS

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:07 pm

Johnathan Blow: Sony just wrapped all the way around and won E3 twice in the same year.

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:07 pm

How’s your feel on the conferences overall? In terms of just putting together a press conference I think EA was still the best produced (Sony had much better/exciting/meaningful news, obviously). I’d still go:

1. EA
2. Sony
3. Ubisoft





4. Microsoft

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:06 pm

Yup, that’s clearly the hand they played. They gambled all along and it paid out. Sony invested in new technology with Microsoft gave up on it for cloud servicing… and after some R&D the tech (which they initially thought would remain unstable) actually took off and like tripled in processing powers.

Early gambles paying off huge for PS4.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 201310:05 pm

Well, that was an exciting conference!

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:04 pm

If they can completely dominate the market share, it will pay off huge for them though, and they are positioned to do just that.

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:03 pm

$399 isn’t a big profit margin for them: somebody evaluated the PS4 hardware after the first reveal and said it was probably close to $399 in manufacturing costs.

Adam Douglas June 10, 201310:03 pm

Wowsers. Wtg, Sony. Just…well done.

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:03 pm

sorry $500, fat finger

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:03 pm

Yes, $600

Joshua Hawks June 10, 201310:03 pm

499 Adam

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:03 pm

Indie check, price check, no bullshit DRM check, games that excite me check

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:03 pm

XBOX1 is $499

Adam Douglas June 10, 201310:02 pm

Have they announced XBOX1 price?

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:02 pm

I mean… they win on every conceivable level

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:02 pm

PS4 just… wins. All the win.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 201310:01 pm

$399!!!!

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:01 pm

$400 price point. Hot damn.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 201310:01 pm

Holy fuck me.

Paul Valentine June 10, 201310:01 pm

cloud service that’s not required for a game I physically purchase: that’s what cloud services are for.

Pat Simpson June 10, 201310:00 pm

Hopefully this will work well, will be very cool if it does.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 201310:00 pm

Best possible use of Gaikai

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:58 pm

Gameplay and then movie trailer, makes me care a lot more.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:58 pm

Vampires?!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:58 pm

But sadly, usually not ocelots.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:57 pm

I love that no matter how advanced a game’s technology is, there are always revolvers.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:57 pm

I am actually very interested in this.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:57 pm

That’s seriously inspired.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:57 pm

I would play nothing but co-op games if there were enough of them.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:56 pm

Oh sweet! Like guild wars 2 mass events!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:56 pm

Me too. The more co-op the better, in my book.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:56 pm

Jackie and I are very interested in this game, we love co-op.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:55 pm

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 7*

*Actually the protagonist of a game.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:55 pm

Definitely interesting. But I’m not DYING to play.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:54 pm

If this is a better playing more serious Borderlands I will play the hell out of it

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:54 pm

Bungie does borderlands style RPG elements… intriguing.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:54 pm

Twist: your characters are people destroying the ancient aliens world for reasons.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:53 pm

Who wants to bet that “the fallen” are an ancient race of super aliens destroying our planet for reasons?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:52 pm

Again, I’m glad these guys kind of suck at playing the game so we know that it’s real action.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:52 pm

Ugh with generic “the fallen” naming.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:52 pm

That dialogue actually felt… natural

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:50 pm

I wish when he said “I’m going to take out my ghost” that Slimer came out.

Or that “ghost” was what he called his dick.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:50 pm

Spooky!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:50 pm

And yes, that looked exactly like Tali.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:50 pm

Tali vas Destiny

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:49 pm

cat interest update: Grover was upstairs until this game started, then he literally ran down.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:49 pm

Does the hunter remind anyone else of Tali from mass effect?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:49 pm

Fuck scripted gameplay events!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:47 pm

General Grevious is the enemy of humanity?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:47 pm

Also, I’ve been looking for this since we saw Lebron:

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:47 pm

Now will smith and his son pop out.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:47 pm

That’s just US markets, Josh, through the end of today. Sony might be moving overseas currently.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:46 pm

Ooo, Bungie’s new game!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:46 pm

The indie game partnership makes perfect sense for PS+

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:46 pm

Really smart with the free indie bundles, rather than old games.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:45 pm

Ah, I was off. Apologies.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:44 pm

Less than $5=$4.99.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:44 pm

In the US Microsoft ended the day down .56% and Sony up 2.28%. And that’s without Sony’s PC influencing them.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:44 pm

I wonder if Microsoft will change their mind about used games and such.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:43 pm

Real move will happen tomorrow, Adam. Maybe in the Asain markets now.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:43 pm

It’s also after trading hours in the US, so only really Japan’s markets will influence it.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:43 pm

Sony is up .56 percent, Msoft down .33

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:42 pm

Someone please check Sony and Microsoft’s stock.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:42 pm

I wonder if this was always the gameplan.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:42 pm

Well, Sony has wrapped this up super well.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:42 pm

Also smart. Also Nintendo did it first.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:42 pm

Done. Sony wins.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:41 pm

WTG, Sony. Nice job of completely following Nintendo’s business model.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:41 pm

Sony wins.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:41 pm

biggest applause of the entire day.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:41 pm

Enjoy it, folks, this is the last console that will.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:40 pm

Well played, Sony.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:40 pm

Here it comes.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:40 pm

Nice. Yes.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:40 pm

Oh boy, anti-Semetism in the wasteland!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:40 pm

Back to the sports!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:39 pm

I wonder if they’ll get Adolf Gibson to voice Max.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:39 pm

HOW THE HELL DID I CALL THAT

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:39 pm

Nicely done, Josh.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:39 pm

HAHAHAHAHA.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:38 pm

Hell yes, I will go Beyond Thunderdome. I will go beyond Thunderdome ALL NIGHT.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:38 pm

PLEASE GOD JOSH BE RIGHT.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:38 pm

Mad Max the game!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:38 pm

Fallout?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:37 pm

I hope it’s great! But I doubt it.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:36 pm

Watch it be fantastic.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:35 pm

YES. EUROPEAN VOICEOVER

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:35 pm

This is probably the least excited I have been for a Bethesda game.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:35 pm

Cums the next fapter.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:35 pm

Oh joy, an MMO I don’t care about.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:35 pm

LeBros is supposedly an asshole to waiters. So…he can go screw.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:34 pm

Did you see how wide his mouth was open!?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:34 pm

Get the hell out of here, Lebron. I don’t want to see you whining and bitching in a video game and in real life.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:33 pm

Sports? I’m going to the bathroom.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:33 pm

Current events reference: check.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:33 pm

Bleh sports

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:33 pm

Sports time? Adam brbs.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:32 pm

THink so josh.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:32 pm

There’s an app for that.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:32 pm

Jesus, did he just turn off all the city lights?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:31 pm

Boooo ending the scene with murder

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:31 pm

If this is actually…you know…real…this is going to be unbelievable.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:30 pm

Interesting that Ubisoft seems to be saving the gameplay for this Presser, when EA did the opposite for MS.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:29 pm

Yeah, this might have just sold the game for me.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:29 pm

I am going to play the hell out of this game

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:29 pm

This looks awesome.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:29 pm

Government mandated volume controls!

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:28 pm

I would just have to assume I’m dreaming at that point.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:28 pm

There is not a coffeehouse in the world that has a TV with audio.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:28 pm

It would be hilarious if they ended the conference with: MGSV with Snake voiced by David Hayter instead of Kiefer Sutherland, exclusive to PS4.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:28 pm

Now that you mention it, I completely agree josh.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:27 pm

This scene reminds me of the opening of Drive, and I say that with the highest of praise.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:27 pm

No, I’m assuming they’ll end with that.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:27 pm

Has Sony shown an in-house game yet?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:27 pm

“Central we’ve got some chowder on the run.”

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:27 pm

That’s the point of the game: you’re trying to make it back to eat some clam chowder before it gets cold.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:26 pm

Did he say we picked up some chowder?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:26 pm

They didn’t zoom in close enough to tell.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:26 pm

T-Bone is nothing compared to T-Dog. RIP T-Dog.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:26 pm

Oh, maybe it was. They looked feminine to me.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:25 pm

I am excited for Watchdogs though.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:25 pm

GAMEPLAYS?!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:25 pm

That was a female, Josh? I thought it was a dude with long hair.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:25 pm

But if ship battles go like that then meh.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:25 pm

My level of excitement for AC couldn’t get any lower so, no.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:25 pm

I like pirate aspects. Hasn’t been a good pirate game since Sid Meir’d Pirates.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:24 pm

Me to a point.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:24 pm

Is anyone else significantly less excited by AC4 BECAUSE of the pirate aspects?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:24 pm

I feel bad for her on stage. 🙁

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:24 pm

Technical difficulties ahoy!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:23 pm

Apparently you command the first ever wooden schooner with a prop engine.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:23 pm

Best AI ever: “Oh man that guy just stabbed two of my shipmates, I guess I will stand here until he recovers”

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:23 pm

Mmmmm in game lag.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:23 pm

See? Paul and I know what’s up.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:23 pm

This is not how real ship battles happen.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:22 pm

WHAT? WHAT? THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO HOW SHIPS WORK, HAHAHAHA

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:22 pm

Tuh-Wee-Wee 2! That’s how I read that.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:21 pm

The only way that could have gotten better is if they announced TWEWY 2

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:21 pm

At least they actually have AC4 gameplay.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:21 pm

I’m kind of glad they followed with AC4 so I have time to process what just happened to me.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:21 pm

That horde of Heartless was kind of terrifying.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:20 pm

…I may have to start doing drugs again…

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:20 pm

KINGDOM HEARTS 33333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:20 pm

Yeash?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:19 pm

Hey, guys? Hey, guys?

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:18 pm

Yes, that seems to be the case Adam.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:18 pm

Yes, FFvXIII is now XV

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:18 pm

TORTUGA!~

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:18 pm

So, correct me if I’m wrong, but now FFV13 is actually FF15?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:18 pm

Oh god, AC4, time for sleeps.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:18 pm

Definitely must-view viewing for KH fans: http://www.gametrailers.com/full-episodes/g84vkz/timeline-kingdom-hearts

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:17 pm

Ha, cut to audience shot just as someone is leaving.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:17 pm

My mind. Is melting. With lust for SE.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:17 pm

Well shit. I didn’t think this E3 would make me giddy.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:17 pm

Wow. Well. Fucking. Done.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:17 pm

Sony FTW.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:16 pm

AHHFJSDHG;SDHGDHG;ADJFG;LADJFG/LKADJFG;LAJDF;GLKJADF;GLJADK

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:16 pm

SQUARE ENIX TAKE MY MONIES

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:16 pm

…I may cry. *im not kidding*

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:16 pm

2 IMPOSSIBLE titles in a row. This is too much.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:16 pm

KNO FUCKING WAY

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:15 pm

OH SHIT ON MY BRICKS. PISS AND FUCKING BALLS.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:15 pm

NO WAY

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:15 pm

…KH3?

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:15 pm

oh shit, they’re just maiing it 15?!~

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:15 pm

HA! Well played.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:15 pm

Wait…what?

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:15 pm

I WAS WRONG.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:14 pm

Fair enough, Paul. Still am excited for it.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:14 pm

Well it is being made by the KH team.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:14 pm

Think it is just called Versus now.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:14 pm

I thought I saw some Nobodies walking behind someone. Seriously.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:13 pm

Looks like KH combat.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:13 pm

Final Fantasy Versus XIII

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:13 pm

I thought it looked like the goop from Hook.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:13 pm

I’m lost. What is this?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:13 pm

That soup llooks fucking delicious.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:12 pm

Hahahahaha. I believe it.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:12 pm

This is a lie, Pat. Our streams went down like Josh’s but we’re hallucinating this.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:12 pm

HOLY SHIT FINALLY.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:11 pm

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. IT DOES NOT EXIST.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:11 pm

FF versus? NO WAY>

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:11 pm

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 6*

*Actually the protagonist of a game.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:11 pm

It’s Square Enix time now.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:10 pm

Stream died for me.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:10 pm

SORRY, galak-z

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:10 pm

Nicely done, Sony.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:09 pm

FUCK. YES. GALAXY.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:09 pm

New Oddworld! Yes!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:08 pm

Yes, Pat, actually showing off the development teams they’re working with and just giving them free reign. Awesome.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:08 pm

Ha, Octodad

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:07 pm

Yes! OctoDad!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:07 pm

hand drawn graphics looked sweet.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:07 pm

Sony wins indy.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:07 pm

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:07 pm

Whoa I must be tremendously behind you guys.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:06 pm

No buffering here.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:06 pm

Def looks rad. Anyone know the song?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:06 pm

developers self-publishing their own content is an epic win.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:05 pm

Am I the only one who keeps having to buffer?

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:05 pm

Cannot. Get here. Fast enough.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:05 pm

I don’t even care that it ws the same trailer!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:05 pm

middle eastern representation:

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 5*

*Actually the protagonist of a game.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:04 pm

Witness and This… just win.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:04 pm

Transistor looks so wonderful.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:04 pm

I AM SO APPROVED.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:03 pm

YES! YES YES YE S YES YESYquive

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:03 pm

That’s what I call my balls. Adam Boys.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:03 pm

And I agree, Josh.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:03 pm

That would be so much fun.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20139:03 pm

They…simply must get a new speaker.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:02 pm

I hope the actual game is about playing a video game actor trying to make a fucked up demon game.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:02 pm

He’s pumped! This guy is adorable.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:02 pm

What just happened? You’re glad I liked it? I DON’T KNOW WHAT I JUST SAW.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:01 pm

I’m confused.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:01 pm

Of course.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:01 pm

Of course the goblin is a black guy.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:01 pm

… wat.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20139:00 pm

I must admit I’m liking all the new IPs.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20139:00 pm

Though playing as an evil sorcerer or necromancer does seem neat

Paul Valentine June 10, 20139:00 pm

Yoda!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:59 pm

Angry Patrick Stewart?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:59 pm

FINALLY!

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:59 pm

Palpatine?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:59 pm

DUDE, YOUR BOOK IS ON FIRE, LOOK OUT!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:59 pm

Here you go Adam, European voice over!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:58 pm

End this conference with official release date for The Last Guardian and Sony wins E3 for E3ternity.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:58 pm

Snack?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:57 pm

This is why he ate a bullet. Either way, game looks rad, I won’t deny it.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:57 pm

nope.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:57 pm

BIONICS?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:57 pm

The other Infamous games were unspectacular but still a lot of fun to play.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:57 pm

OH NO. Poor Kurt.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:56 pm

Do you have any idea how embarrassing exposition exposition exposition?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:56 pm

Weird layout where they spend only thirty seconds or so on a game. I think they swung the pendulum too far from the other conferences marathon trailers.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:56 pm

This protag looks like Tony hawk

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:55 pm

RACE! RACE! RACE! RACE!

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:54 pm

Lots of “fall” this year.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:54 pm

Jew Killzone?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:54 pm

A Werewolf hunting game would be cool.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:54 pm

Woo Killzone.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:53 pm

They seemed kinda werewolfy/vampirey to me.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:53 pm

I sincerely hope “The Order” is about waiters. We need more representation in games. Fuck Burger Time.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:53 pm

Please fucking stop with the zombies. I’m begging you, world.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:52 pm

Steampunk London zombie game? I’m so fucking in.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:52 pm

Steampunk, just what the world needed more of.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:52 pm

Xbox One didn’t feature anyone with such fabulous mutton chops.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:51 pm

Jennifer Lawrence?

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:51 pm

And Latin Chorus Chanting!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:50 pm

ESOTERIC EUROPEAN VOICE-OVER. FINALLY.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:50 pm

It’s funny. I’ll bet many engine were made in a trailer…

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:49 pm

Ahahahaha, he said awesome.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:49 pm

WHAT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:48 pm

Social media, kill me now.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:48 pm

Social Media! Finally!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:47 pm

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 3*

*Actually the protagonist of a game.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:47 pm

They don’t have a scheduled conference, Adam. You can just watch it online whenever.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:47 pm

Jew Yoshida?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:46 pm

What time is Nintendo tomorrow?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:46 pm

The system comes with Netflix! It also comes in a cardboard box!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:46 pm

Just tell me about DRM Sony. Nobody cares about this.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:45 pm

Hmm, distinction between PS3 and Playstation 4. Interesting.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:45 pm

STOP ADVERTISING SHIT LIKE NETFLIX.

I can buy a fucking toaster with Netflix on it.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:45 pm

Those big ass hands are creeping me the fuck out.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:45 pm

Fuck me this world is doomed.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:44 pm

Resident Evil: Retribution netted Sony a profit of about $190 million with worldwide ticket sales.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:44 pm

I love the British parade marches they use

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:44 pm

This music keeps making me think Obama is going to show up.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:43 pm

And they know the internet loves Community.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:43 pm

So exclusive television shows are now the thing, huh?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:43 pm

They have huge fanbases. Trigger names.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:43 pm

Haha, great TV shows like Breaking Bad and Community, and then lumping Resident Evil in with the movies… OKAY.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:42 pm

Spiderman and Resident Evil are shitty franchises that vomit money for Sony

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:42 pm

Leading with Community, nice.

Welcome back Dan Harmon!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:42 pm

I tried Crackle once.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:42 pm

Finish the rest of the conference with nothing but Daft Punk. Please.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:41 pm

Ahahahahaha…Crackle. I still think of candy.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:41 pm

Michael Lynton doesn’t own a comb.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:41 pm

Hands.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:41 pm

Oh snap, he has cue cards!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:40 pm

But this one is slightly slanted, Josh!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:40 pm

Is this seriously going to be 2 hours?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:40 pm

Sony might clean up on my count with Asian developers.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:39 pm

Jackie just said “That’s the design aesthetic now, flat planes and hard 90 degree edges”

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:39 pm

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 2*

*Actually the protagonist of a game.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:39 pm

Again, another system that will be able to camouflage seamlessly with my $20 Samsung cable box.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:39 pm

Sweet, looks just like everyone should have known it would look. Let’s move onto important stuff, now.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:39 pm

That looks remarkably like the Xbox One aesthetic…

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:38 pm

It’s… a box!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:38 pm

Let me guess…sleek, black, and rectangular?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:38 pm

“We know gamers can’t wait” is corporate speak for “gamers are whining we know”

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:38 pm

So far Sony speakers are showing they know how to put on shirts with buttons.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:38 pm

So far no t-shirts under jackets. Good sign?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:37 pm

Adam made a TV joke!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:37 pm

I loved this guy’s tv show.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:37 pm

I thought that was the Kinect, hiy-ooooo!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:37 pm

Playstation is focusing on me, relentlessly.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:37 pm

They aren’t nearly as cool as the Saint’s Row autotuning headphones.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:36 pm

Now, now, Joshua, some of us are actually pretty excited about it. But um…headphones?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:35 pm

GTA: V time for me to sleep.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:35 pm

*KILLS HIMSELF*

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:35 pm

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA KNIGHTFALL?! AHAHAHAHA! AH HA HA HA! NO WAY. AHAHAHAHAHA

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:35 pm

It drops the day before my birthday! Maybe I can get someone to just give it to me.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:35 pm

While I’m not exactly thrilled by YET ANOTHER GRIM AND GRITTY BAT TALE GRRRRRR, I’m happy to see Black Mask being utilized. He’s underrated as far as Bat baddies go.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:34 pm

I’m optimistic if cautious.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:34 pm

Also no Kevin Conroy or Mark Hamill. Fuck that.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:34 pm

Not Kevin Conroy is totally not Kevin Conroy.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:34 pm

Don’t know what the think about this. Arkham Asylum/City are fantastic, but now we’ve got origin story (yawn) plus new lead developers.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:33 pm

TERMINATOR VS BATMAN.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:33 pm

OH GOD TERMINATORS

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:32 pm

The real driving simulator. I wish a “real driving simulator” was somebody stuck in traffic in LA.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:32 pm

But good on them for giving PS3 one last reach-around.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:32 pm

Adoptive tessellation? Sounds much more impressive than it is. Nice try, SON-PEE.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:32 pm

HAI.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:31 pm

At least with GT6 they seem to be emphasizing gameplay changes, not prettiness changes

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:31 pm

This is still PS3, yes?

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:31 pm

This doesn’t look as shiny as the others, and I very much like it.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:31 pm

Nope, didn’t make myself excited for this. At least I tried.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:30 pm

Ra-cing! Ra-cing! Ra-cing!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:30 pm

Cars for everyone!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:30 pm

And time to pee.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:30 pm

I knew that was Willem Dafoe! You can’t fool me, Willem.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:30 pm

To be fair, EA had Mirrors Edge 2, Josh.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:30 pm

Agreed.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:29 pm

Non White Male count: Microsoft – 4, EA – 4*, Ubisoft – 2*, Sony – 1*

*Actually the protagonist of a game.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:29 pm

At least Sony has a game with a female protag

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:29 pm

Military infiltration game starring a female? With her breasts covered?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:28 pm

Uncanny Valley just keeps slapping us in the face with its odd-looking dick.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:28 pm

I really do not wanna play another game by Cage. Whaaaaat they cussed on stream!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:28 pm

Willem Defoe?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:28 pm

Puppeteer is significantly less puppetty than it should be. They need to embrace their aesthetic to Kirby’s Epic Yarn level.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:28 pm

So now everyone but Microsoft has had at least one very stylized, not FPS game in their conference.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:27 pm

Oh Debussy.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:27 pm

This looks like the new Media Molecule game

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:26 pm

I very much want to know what you think of it.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:26 pm

I’m going to the store at midnight Thursday for this. Sleep is for the weak.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:26 pm

NOOO! CURSE YOU E3!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:25 pm

Avert thine eyes, Paul!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:25 pm

Netflix and Youtube! Revolutionary.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:25 pm

Ooooo, Skype goes both ways. Hot.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:24 pm

Nice reveals to start out with.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:24 pm

I approve!

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:24 pm

Ooo, Walking Dead on Vita

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:23 pm

Yup! Tearaway looks awesome though

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:23 pm

That man just made a woman on a plane disappear… and then did a back flip. What is happening.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:22 pm

I just got a Vita, it is a really neat system. Just needs games.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:22 pm

More than 10 games! Whoa!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:22 pm

Gametrailers host speculated before this that “Sony would abandon the Vita.” Fail.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:22 pm

The problem is getting people to buy a Vita in the first place!

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:22 pm

Remember when BSI was supposed to have Vita stuff? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:21 pm

Its vision is based on movements.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:20 pm

He actually doesn’t make me want to eat balls as much as others, Paul. But we’ll see.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:20 pm

If Sony does not see you, you do not exist.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:20 pm

Sony does not care that others went before them.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:20 pm

The fourth conference of the day does not get to welcome you to E3.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:20 pm

Hand comment from Adam in 3…2…1

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:19 pm

I hope when they the PS4 hardware reveal there’s a sticky note on the front that says “will you shut the fuck up now, internet?”

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:18 pm

I saw Auron from FFX

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:18 pm

Surprise! Racing game! Didn’t see that coming.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:18 pm

I saw Star Wars pinball. Star Winball.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:17 pm

Fucking win.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:16 pm

Literally just started.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:16 pm

Nope, there was a delay. Just now starting.

Pat Simpson June 10, 20138:16 pm

Did I mis anything?

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:16 pm

Sony: more screens than Microsoft.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:16 pm

They say this pres conference isn’t airing on Spike TV because they thought it might start late.

Spike TV is currently on the second of beck-to-back showing of Dogdgeball. That second viewing of the movie is really important.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:16 pm

That stage sure is blue.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:15 pm

T-minus 1 minute

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:12 pm

Oh snap it’s a black screen now!

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:12 pm

Also, THE LAST OF US YES. YES. If I wasn’t avoiding spoilers like the plague I would watch a two hour press conference just on TLOU.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:11 pm

Microsoft was scheduled for 2 hours but only ran about 1.5 after delays.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:11 pm

Better get it out now.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:11 pm

Whoa, Sony is 2 hours? I…I cannot hold pee so long.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:10 pm

Two hours is long for a press conference. I think that might be way EA and Ubisoft so out-shined Microsoft. A lot less filler (Ubisoft’s racing slog as the only exception)

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:10 pm

Dunkin Donuts just started a fried donut sandwich. There have been 17 casualties.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:10 pm

Ugh. That sounds vile.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:09 pm

Krispy Kreme now sells Sloppy Joes made on a doughnut.

Sadly, only in San Diego.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:09 pm

They have to get their donkeys in line.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:08 pm

I wonder why the delay.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:07 pm

Paul? I’m in.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:07 pm

For real? Now I’m tempted to just watch Goosebumps and liveblog that.

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20138:06 pm

We watched it the other day. It is still awful.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:06 pm

Goosebumps is on Netflix.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:05 pm

20.11

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:05 pm

Someone please note Sony’s current stock price.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:05 pm

At least this guy finally took his shades off.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:02 pm

I’m guessing we see Titanfall as some sort of sponsor for a Spike TV event. They’ve mentioned it way too many times today for it to be completely organic.

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:01 pm

I drink coffee all day. It keeps me off drugs.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:01 pm

Haven’t you had to pee during all the other conferences, too?

Adam Douglas June 10, 20138:01 pm

I have to pee. If Sony can captivate me long enough to avoid going to pee, then they will win E3.

Paul Valentine June 10, 20138:00 pm

Oh hey, PS4 has caught up to Xbox One in terms of social media references. Who could’ve seen this coming?

Joshua Hawks June 10, 20137:56 pm

And it will soon begin!

Paul Valentine (admin) Your reliable source of inane drivel.
Paul has written 39 articles.

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